To my gentle giant Sasha,
I miss you more than you can imagine! Your brother Einstein had his moments too. It is difficult when everything around the house reminds me of you.
The moment I set my eyes on this furry ball, I knew I was to be your mom and it was always going to be unconditional and precious. You grew from looking like a stuffed toy to this handsome and dignified wise-old man.
I miss all your goofiness, bear hugs, gooey kisses, bath time bribes to get you in the shower, playing hide & seek, walks, and so much more. Your barking was music to my ears and your loud snores were endearing.
Your brother Einstein went through a phase of separation anxiety and I found it difficult to deal with his disrupted sleep, loss of appetite, restlessness, and refusing to go for walks. It was painful to see Einstein sit in front of you silently saying goodbye to his trusted companion.
You loved each other’s company, partners in crime and his pillar of support and strength. Was it a good idea to get him as your companion? I don’t know. You were 2 years old when we got Einstein home.
Never a quiet moment with you around. The cheeky trainer who didn’t last more than a couple of sessions after he hit you when trying to teach some obedience commands. You growled at him like I’ve never seen before and walked towards me saying, “no nonsense from a stranger who knows nothing about being a pet and the perks that come with it”. Another time, you jumping and leaping in the rain, landed on my little toe and fractured it.
You almost knocked a man off his bike, when you put your head out of the window to enjoy the breeze and ears flapping in the wind. I miss you standing at the doorway with a gift for me every time I walk into the house, and your toe clicking sound on the wooden floor. What I miss the most is our silent conversations, your ears perked up and that intense look in your eyes when I vent; ever so comforting and spoke volumes to me.
You never ever complained of any aches and pains and suffered all in silence. I watched you go through food poisoning when I almost lost you, your hind legs acting up because of arthritis, and the last straw was your blood disorder, the silent killer. It was heart wrenching to put you through all the intravenous, blood works, x-rays, scans, taking you on a stretcher to the clinic and force feeding all the medicines.
We spent your last few days together in the living room because you couldn’t walk to your favourite place in the bedroom. Most of the time you just lay-down, your eyes opened and watching me move around the room. I would hug you and tell you everything will be ok; I’m with you and going nowhere.
It was the 1st of October around 5am; I heard unusual sounds and rushed to your side. When I saw you gasping for breath, I quickly cradled your head in my lap. You looked straight into my eyes, softly bidding goodbye, but I wouldn’t hear of it. There was this awkward silence around us and your body went limp. I kissed you goodbye and gently shut your eyes.
Thanks to all my friends and your well-wishers for being with you, Einstein and me to handle your last rites. You had the most beautiful burial on the banks of our waterfront; close to home. You touched many lives.
It never ever crossed my mind that you would leave so early. I was hoping to grow old together. I used to imagine me sitting on my rocking chair with you and Einstein on either side and 3 of us talking and mumbling.
RIP, my dearest. I love you eternally.
Mama
Hi Sabi, I can totally relate to losing Sasha. Trudy was our best ever ,she was the most calmest, understanding, smart, kind you could ever have. She was my mom’s companion through good n bad times. She had the most beautiful eyes and could melt your heart even if she has done something wrong.She had a deep understanding and a sense of teeny weeny things that happned in our house. She was so gentle with my son even though he used to irritate her at times. Never had she ever growled at him. She knew everything including where her record book is ,where her towel is. I can still picture her bringing the towel when we say ‘Trudy shall we have a bath”. She was also the naughtiest when she was small but she used to be the source of energy to pull my mom n dad from missing us. My brother used to call her sister as she in every sense was one. Although with time we could see her health deteriorating when my parents brought Benji ,my brother’s puppy it seemed as her purpose of life took a 360 degree turn. She was young once again, had competition with Benji..they played together. I last saw her in 2019 September when I went for an emergency when my mom was hospitalised. It was strange to stay at my own maternal house without my mom and only with my dad. It felt strange and I could get through that night because Trudy and Benji were by my side. She kept getting sick on and off and it was in February 2020 my mom said that Trudy has been in and out of the clinic and the doctor has told them not to have hope. She had kidney failure. They didn’t want her to suffer although it broke their heart. They wanted to do the best for her so admitted her however she had given up and we sadly lost her. I haven’t gone home since 2019 and I just can’t imagine how it would be not to have her around, not to be kissed by her. She was our baby girl , my mom’s n dad’s second daughter. She was my mom’s shadow. Oh how we miss you Trudy girl. We were so lucky to have brought you home in 2008. You are cherished in our hearts forever. Love you my baby girl.
Yes, it’s painful and can so relate to you. Take care.
Fantastic. Emotional one
Thank you. Yes, it’s painful losing a pet and the grief after.