Solo Living

Oh! You live alone?

I’m often quizzed about why I live alone. The concept of “Solo Living” is perhaps unique and less understood.

It comes with social stigmas and myths that people who live alone are lonely, sad, bitter, isolated, bored, and more, creating so much of a dark aura.

Living alone gave me the time and space to reflect on myself and step out of my comfort zone. It felt like a “New Beginning.”

My journey has been long and winding, but it has ultimately led to self-discovery and given me a sense of independence, but not without challenges and disadvantages that I constantly need to manage.

I am the boss of my domain, but I must do everything myself and assume additional responsibilities. Cooking for one person is boring, so I tend to frequently order in, no one to take turns doing the dishes, I can’t watch horror movies because I imagine I’m not home alone, no one to take care of me when I get sick, strange noises in the middle of the night freak me out, and no one to share my day when I get home. It doesn’t end here, but no matter what, living alone is a journey unlike any other, and I’m loving it!

My life may appear different from yours, but it is not. Many assume I have no responsibilities and am carefree, and they equate my time in solitude to loneliness.

Don’t we all long for solitude, where we can be alone and restore our bodies and minds? I do as well! I live alone and am not on anyone’s schedule but my own, so it is easier to find time and a quiet corner with only my thoughts.

Living a “Solo Life” does not make my life any less full of responsibility. I also have to take care of my home and my health, do my groceries, cook, feed myself, pay my bills, and manage my finances. Moreover, I am solely responsible for decisions about every aspect of my life. As well as invested emotionally in my adult children and grandchildren and a few others who matter.

Even though I am an independent person by nature, it was challenging at first because it was a significant life change. It unleashed a torrent of emotional vulnerability. I had to learn to cultivate a mature relationship with my emotions, approach challenges with optimism, take risks, and dare to make changes.

That was the transitional point in my life!

It took a while to feel empowered to trust my choices and decisions when faced with unique situations. The journey has been empowering because I’m learning to explore and rediscover myself, cultivate my passion, pursue my purpose, be grateful and compassionate, accept myself for who I am, and share a beautiful relationship with myself and the world around me. I am now less vulnerable and more comfortable facing uncertainty.

My social life and connections with people are so much more meaningful. I enjoy an abundant life by staying connected to my support system, socializing, and engaging with people who matter to me.

As much as I enjoy going out with family and friends and being involved in my social work, returning home and being alone is comforting and peaceful. I am an extrovert and am social, but I am not always looking at people to fill my time.

So, if I go off the radar, please don’t imagine the worst!

I’m busy in solitude in the confines of my sanctuary or out engaging with nature, or away on holiday.

What do I do in solitude when at home?

Meditation is something I struggle with. I started by focussing on a single point on my forehead and ended up with a squint. My focus is now drawn to an object, sound, or my breathing. If this also fails, I’m hoping Google can help with “Simple Meditation for Beginners.”

I binge-watch TV shows, particularly documentaries, until my vision blurs. I blast my favourite songs from the 1970s and 1980s and sing and dance as if I’m possessed.

Other times, I laze in bed, read, play games on my iPad, and watch Ted Talks to get inspired. I attempt to prepare healthy food and stock up.

There are days when I go out of my way to create an ultimate spa experience at home. I walk around in a bathrobe, light-scented candles, homemade facemasks, and a hot shower, the closest I can get to a sauna.

I enjoy the freedom of being alone and staying true to myself, my values, and my life.

When I’m alone, life reveals more of itself!